discount It's wholesale Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart 2021 Girl's Break-Up Buddy online sale

discount It's wholesale Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart 2021 Girl's Break-Up Buddy online sale

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From the Publisher




Description

Product Description

A must-have manual for finding your way back to an even more rocking you. Greg and his wife, Amiira, share their hilarious and helpful roadmap for getting past the heartache and back into the game. 

From Greg Behrendt, the co-author of the smash two-million copy bestseller He’s Just Not That Into You, comes It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken.


There’s no doubt about it—breakups suck. But in the first few hours or days or weeks that follow, there’s one important truth you need to recognize: Some things can’t and shouldn’t be fixed, especially that loser who dumped you or forced you to dump him. Starting right here, right now, it’s time to dry your tears, and open this book to Chapter One–and start turning your breakup into a breakover.

The ultimate survival guide to getting over Mr. Wrong and reclaiming your inner Superfox. From how to put yourself through “he-tox,” to how to throw yourself a kick-ass pity party, and reframing reality— seeing the relationship for what it was. Complete with an essential workbook to help you put your emotions down on paper and heal.

Review

“You will get through this, and you’ll do it faster with the help of It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken.” — Glamour

“Insightful, been-there-have-the-scars-to-prove-it wisdom.” — New York Post

From the Back Cover

When Greg Behrendt-comedian and consultant to "Sex and the City-laid out the truth about men''s "mixed signals" (the truth being that there''s no such thing), millions of women found themselves liberated. But knowing a guy''s not that into her doesn''t mean a woman is not going to be hurt. Now, for every woman who''s had her heart broken, Greg and his coauthor-wife, Amiira, offer "It''s Called a Breakup Because It''s Broken-a must-have survival guide for getting over Mr. Wrong and reclaiming your inner SuperFox.
This hilarious and helpful book covers everything from how to pull the plug on a relationship and make it stick, to proven remedies for uncontrollable crying, to how to act the first time you see him with another woman. Divided into two parts-Get Over It and Get On with It-chapters include:
- There Are No New Messages, so stop checking your
machine-and his!-every five minutes
- He''s Not Hiding at the Bottom of That Pint of Ice Cream
- What''s He Thinking? Who cares? But Greg and Amiira
respect the need to obsess, so here''s a chapter of indulgence
- If It Was So Great, You''d Still Be Together: seeing the
reality for what it was
- Revenge Is a Dish Best Served HOT! So get out of your pajamas,
start taking care of yourself, and find your way back to an even
more rocking you
Plus: an essential workbook, so you can put the crazy stuff down
on paper instead of inflicting it on the world.
Before finding each other, Greg and Amiira had been there, too, and found their way out of the darkness. Now they''ve come back with a flashlight and a helping hand. "It''s Called a Breakup Because It''s Broken is more than the ultimatereference guide to the dissolution of a relationship. It''s the voice of encouragement that you need to turn your breakup into a break-over, and get a jump on the brighter romantic future that awaits.

About the Author

Comedian Greg Behrendt is the coauthor of the two-million-copy bestseller He’s Just Not That Into You. His acclaimed stand-up comedy has been seen on HBO, Comedy Central Presents . . . , The Tonight Showwith Jay Leno, Late Show with David Letterman, and Late Night with Conan O’Brien. A former consultant on Sex and the City, he lives with his wife, Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt, in Los Angeles with their two children.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Chapter One

IT’S CALLED A BREAKUP BECAUSE IT’S BROKEN

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAHHHHHHH! F***, it hurts. It’s rocking the very core of your being. You never saw it com­ing. You knew this was going to happen. You were going to do it first. You only broke it off with him before he broke it off with you. You guys were supposed to be together forever. You never liked him that much anyway. He was such a great kisser. The sex wasn’t that great. You really liked his family. He hated your friends. You hated his shoes. You miss him soooooo much. There’s no doubt about it–breakups suck. And now here you are holding this stupid “Breakup Book” because, quite honestly, you’d do anything not to feel like this and maybe this book will shed some light on what you’re going through. Maybe you’ll get some sleep tonight. Or stop sleeping all the time.

In these first few hours or days or weeks of your breakup, there’s one all-important truth that you need to recognize: Some things can’t and shouldn’ t be fixed, especially that loser who dumped you or forced you to dump him. It’s over for a reason, and even if you’re in denial about it, deep down inside you prob­ably know what that reason is. Even if you feel baffled by his decision to end it, it boils down to the same thing every time: Your relationship, despite its promise, has ceased to be right for one or both of you. It is, in effect, broken. That doesn’t make the breakup any easier to handle or change the overwhelming nature of the sadness that you feel. But that sadness, in turn, doesn’t make it less broken. If you’ve reached this point, where one or both of you feel that walking away is the best course of action, the cracks are there. And starting today, you’re not the kind of woman who settles for broken or hangs on to damaged goods, be it a radio, a pair of shoes, or a relationship. Your life is not a yard sale. It’s time to get rid of all the broken stuff that you’ve been lugging around for days, months, and maybe even years, and make the bold decision to start looking for stuff that works. The bright, clean, simple, easy, runs-so-smoothly-I-don’t-even-have-to-think-about-it kind of works. Being the first one to recognize that a relationship isn’t a match doesn’t win you any great prize—just the guilt of having to hurt someone’s feelings. So even though you are clearly wounded, getting out of this bro­ken relationship is the best thing possible, even if you didn’t know it was broken until now.

“But some things can be fixed,”you say. True, but can your rela­tionship be fixed? Anything is possible, but we’d say probably not. Generally, if one person thinks that the breakup is the right move, they’re probably right even if it feels so wrong. Because unless there are two people putting on the coveralls and getting down in the trenches with some duct tape and superglue and a fierce determination, it isn’t going to happen. Need more convincing? How about this: The person you loved took a good long look at the awesomeness that is you, evaluated your relationship together, and said, “No, thanks. I’ll try my luck elsewhere.” Or you said it to him. Either way, that alone should make you realize that it wasn’t a match made in heaven and they’re not worth donning coveralls for. Anyone who assesses you or your relationship as disposable is not worthy of your time or tears.

Right now, your mind is probably working overtime to come up with all the reasons that you should still be together. Your heart is hurting and your mind wants to find a way to undo the pain. Just remember, though, that any reasons you come up with are ultimately irrelevant. The harsh reality is that even if you have everything else in common, the one thing you don’t have in common is the belief that this relationship can work. That, my friend, trumps your shared love of puppies, The Dave Matthews Band, and Mexican food.

It’s hard not to rack your brain, searching for reasons why the two of you couldn’t make it work, but sometimes the only real answer is the simplest one: People come together and move apart. It’s the age-old ebb and flow of relationships. Some are shorter journeys, and others were meant for a lifetime. That goes for friendships as well. We become attached to what’s familiar and sometimes we hold on to things that are safe and predictable even if they’re bad for us. A lot of the pain you are experiencing right now is actually fear. Fear of things being different than how you liked them, fear of never finding another love, fear of being alone, fear of having to fill your time differently. We’re afraid of the unknown. The answer to all the questions swirling in your head—What will I do on weekends? Will I meet someone else?—is “You won’t know until you get there.” That’s hard, and it’s scary. But for the moment, you need to concentrate on what you do know—that you and he no longer share the belief that your rela­tionship has a future. It’s broken, and the longer you stay stuck in a dead-end relationship or spend your days mourning one, the less time you get on this planet to experience a great one.

So take a deep breath, steel yourself, and realize that this is going to hurt for a while. There is no quick remedy for the pow­erful sting of heartbreak, though we’re going to try to make it easier for you throughout the book. You’re going to feel like crap head to toe and run the gamut of emotions. Edgy, moody, angry, depressed, nauseated—you name it. In fact, the amount of time it takes for you to start feeling great about yourself again is directly proportional to how much it sucks right now—especially if you weren’t the one who broke it off. Because at the end of the day, someone you loved, trusted, and valued has rejected you, and that really smarts. It’s hard to not take it personally. But—and here’s the important part—the fact of the matter is, they’re wrong about you. Just because your relationship is broken doesn’t mean you are! No matter what happened between you, no mat­ter what you may or may not have done wrong, you are still a kick-ass person. And even though you might not believe it right now, this breakup is the fi rst step toward finding someone truly worthy of your greatness.

But Greg, I’ve Got Questions

But how can a relationship just break with no warning?

Dear Greg,

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and have always had the perfect relationship. We moved in together last year and he started talking about getting mar­ried, having kids, the whole deal. He even took me to look at engagement rings a few weeks before Christmas, so naturally I assumed what would be under the Christmas tree for me. Since I thought I was getting an engagement ring, I maxed out my credit card to buy him a plasma TV for Christmas. Well, Christmas morning comes and he was shocked when he opened the plasma TV. But that was nothing compared to the shock when I opened his gift—a cashmere sweater and a necklace! What? Then, the next day, he tells me he’s not sure “I’m the one” and he thinks I should move out and we should take a break so he can figure some things out!! Now he’s got the apartment and the plasma TV that I’ll be paying off for the rest of my life. I’ve tried to remind him of how good we were together and that getting married was his idea, but he just keeps apologizing and telling me he needs time apart. How can somebody go from wanting to marry you to not even wanting to talk to you for no reason? What can I do to make him realize that we should be together?

Please write back.

Marla


Dear Plasma Giver,

First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you’re married. (My grandmother used to say that.) A lot of men think once they have a plasma TV they don’t need a girlfriend. Sounds like your boy-friend’s one of them. The truth is that if he’ s going to come to the conclusion that you guys should be together, he’s going do it on his own. There’s nothing you can do to make him want to be with you, and more important, want to marry you. One of the suckiest and most frustrating facts of life is that sometimes rela­tionships just end, often without reason. I truly believe that some­times both men and women simply run out of love, even when there was a lot of it in the beginning. What blows even more is that you were completely blindsided—even though the relationship was bro­ken on his end, he had clearly led you to believe you were in the same place emotionally. What a shitty new reality for you to get your head around now. But the sooner you do, the sooner you can get your head around this great new thought: HEY, SUPERFOX, YOU ARE HEADED SOMEWHERE FABULOUS AND THERE ARE GREAT POSSIBILITIES AHEAD. You should also let him know that the proper etiquette is that if a girl breaks off an engagement she should give back the ring. If a man breaks up with you, he should give back the TV.

But why didn’t he just break up with me instead of making me do it?

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4.6 out of 54.6 out of 5
1,618 global ratings

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Top reviews from the United States

Phusis
3.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
One of the best breakup books, assume addiction model of love
Reviewed in the United States on September 1, 2019
I''ve read most breakup books, and this is on the better side. Smart, witty and honest, it encapsulates the main ideas you''ll encounter in this book genre. For example: "Unless there are two people getting down in the trenches and trying to make a relationship work, it isn''t... See more
I''ve read most breakup books, and this is on the better side. Smart, witty and honest, it encapsulates the main ideas you''ll encounter in this book genre. For example: "Unless there are two people getting down in the trenches and trying to make a relationship work, it isn''t going to happen" ... "anyone who assesses you or your relationship as ''disposable'' is not worthy of your time or tears."

Now, the bad. The books'' authors make a common, but puzzling assumption about love and relationships. In their view, breakups are difficult because we are addicted to love. Their proposed breakup solutions appear uncannily similar to 12-step methods used in Alcoholics Anonymous. If love is an addition, then addiction treatment methods (e.g. no contact for 60 days) must be the solution. But the addiction model overlooks facts uncovered by modern attachment science: romantic love creates needs for connection that go deep. Viewed through an atttachment, rather than an addiction lens, we understand painful feelings around breakups as natural human reactions that are wired into our psycho-biology, rather than pathologies to be overcome with strategies used in the substance abuse community.

A great place to start, to learn more about attachment, is Diane Poole Heller''s book "The Power of Attachment"
19 people found this helpful
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Amber
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
The book that truly heals
Reviewed in the United States on August 12, 2018
I was with my ex for 4 years, he gave me a ring last year, and then a few months ago told me he needed a break. I was devastated, torn, and confused as to what I did. He dragged me along and played mind games for months and my heart kept breaking. I have never felt so... See more
I was with my ex for 4 years, he gave me a ring last year, and then a few months ago told me he needed a break. I was devastated, torn, and confused as to what I did. He dragged me along and played mind games for months and my heart kept breaking. I have never felt so much emotional and physical pain in my life. My friend was always there to give me advice and time definitely was heeling and she recommended this book to me because she went through the same heart ache as I did. I must say, this book did wonders. I no longer cry every day and I know my worth. This book had me laughing and thinking that the relationship really was broken and I was too blind to see it because I was so in love. This book truly does heal. If you''re going through a breakup, I guarantee this will show you that YOU are not the problem and you are a wonderful person. I am now able to focus on me, myself, and I and I have never been happier to say that.
24 people found this helpful
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Sophie Melissa
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
My feminist critique aside, really solid advice for those in the depths of the struggle.
Reviewed in the United States on October 27, 2016
This book tends to have a heterosexual bent, with a focus on women in breakups from men. That being said- I have bought this book about four times for different friends, with different sexual orientations and genders. It really is a solid wake up call. Some of the gendered... See more
This book tends to have a heterosexual bent, with a focus on women in breakups from men. That being said- I have bought this book about four times for different friends, with different sexual orientations and genders. It really is a solid wake up call. Some of the gendered issues can be taken with a grain of salt, because the underlying advice is solid. This book saved me from a pretty terrible breakup and I would highly recommend it to those struggling to find a way out of the drama.
26 people found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Don’t listen to the low rating reviews!!
Reviewed in the United States on July 8, 2018
This book is awesome, I love it! I ordered the book on impulse and then decided to read the 1 star reviews and I was like.. Should I cancel my order or not? Good thing I didn’t. The 1 star reviews were saying it was “too harsh” which I find completely absurd. IN THIS BOOK,... See more
This book is awesome, I love it! I ordered the book on impulse and then decided to read the 1 star reviews and I was like.. Should I cancel my order or not? Good thing I didn’t. The 1 star reviews were saying it was “too harsh” which I find completely absurd. IN THIS BOOK, THEY WILL BE VERY FRANK AT WHAT HAPPENS IN A BREAKUP AND YOU NEED TO KNOW AND ACCEPT IT. I like how they weren’t talking all the time in the book.. They shared a lot of experiences from different people who wrote to them which will make you feel both empathetic and hopeful. Empathetic because they’re real stories of bad bad bad breakups. Hopeful because you know they all got through it. Love this book, recommend it! Wish I had read it before having any relationship lol so I’m prepared with the warning signs and was able to call it off ASAP. But we live and we learn and that’s life.
5 people found this helpful
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JeffreyKovach
3.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
3 1/2 stars
Reviewed in the United States on June 22, 2020
Coming from a guy.... yes, this book is written with a female in mind as the plethora of stories would indicate. It’s a very entertaining book and the writers keep you turning the page. I’ve extensively read multiple relationship/break-up books over the last... See more
Coming from a guy.... yes, this book is written with a female in mind as the plethora of stories would indicate. It’s a very entertaining book and the writers keep you turning the page.

I’ve extensively read multiple relationship/break-up books over the last eight months, and this one is more straight forward on getting your s*it together and getting over it. Hearing certain thoughts sound very insensitive, but fully honest given the scope of their audience. This book, I feel, is not for someone trying to get over a marriage with children involved. It seems to be more for the dating seen. Some may like it some may not, depending on your situation.

Overall, it’s a good book.
One person found this helpful
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Demetria
4.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Encouraging!
Reviewed in the United States on September 1, 2014
I was hesitant about whether I''d actually enjoy this book based on some of the reviewers, but I was pleasantly surprised! I went through a breakup earlier this year that broke my heart, and I pretty much chased him for the last 5 months to no avail. I think our... See more
I was hesitant about whether I''d actually enjoy this book based on some of the reviewers, but I was pleasantly surprised!
I went through a breakup earlier this year that broke my heart, and I pretty much chased him for the last 5 months to no avail.
I think our continued hangouts helped create a better foundation, but it didn''t get me what I wanted in the end...him.
I wanted to read something to help me put things in perspective about my thoughts, potentially his thoughts and what one must do to move on.
I wanted something fun and cheerful, and this definitely delivered! One of the most important aspects of this book is the authors''s honest accounts of their own experiences. I felt like they were giving us their complete selves when describing their heartache and mindset, and I totally appreciated that. They really want you to understand that they get it. They get that this is very difficult-- that you don''t understand why this is happening to you, you were blindsided, he acted like everything was OK, why did he act like everything was OK, could I have changed anything, can I win him back..? Etc, etc.
We all have those questions rolling around in our heads that drive us bonkers.
This book does not take away from the actual pain that we feel after learning we no longer have that one person we cherish so much.
SO!
They detail some encouraging and practical advice on how to work on ourselves while going through the pain. No one is telling you harshly to get over it...but reminding you that you''ll get through it!

You''ll also get additional stories from other readers that will remind you that the experience could have been worse..LOL
I laughed a few times while reading, and I felt refreshed and motivated once I''d completed this book.

It''s still hard, but it''s nice to know I can read words of encouragement when I''m feeling blue.
Let us smile!
:)
20 people found this helpful
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Ashley
4.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Bought new but it’s used
Reviewed in the United States on December 16, 2020
Okay so this book is amazing. I am fresh out of a toxic relationship that was on and off again for three years, I moved in with the guy and all that, only to get dumped. This book has helped me A LOT recognize my worth and how that guy is not as great as I thought he was.... See more
Okay so this book is amazing. I am fresh out of a toxic relationship that was on and off again for three years, I moved in with the guy and all that, only to get dumped. This book has helped me A LOT recognize my worth and how that guy is not as great as I thought he was. The reason I’m knocking a star off is because this book is so obviously used.... many of the pages are dog earred and dirty. I paid full price for a new hardcover book. Not cool.
2 people found this helpful
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Yonatan
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Not just for girls!
Reviewed in the United States on October 7, 2019
I''m a 29 year old male that just had my heart crushed. 5 years to the day of dating this amazing woman, and poof she is gone forever. I''ve been in a dark place for a while and somewhere in that darkness, she ended it. This book has helped me wake up and get a move on it!... See more
I''m a 29 year old male that just had my heart crushed. 5 years to the day of dating this amazing woman, and poof she is gone forever. I''ve been in a dark place for a while and somewhere in that darkness, she ended it. This book has helped me wake up and get a move on it! She was not the woman for me, but I''m excited to find the one who is!
3 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

not happy ome
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
It literally healed me after four months of agony
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 21, 2020
This book really helped me to open my eyes one day and everything (read: that jackass who disappeared from my life) what was on my mind became about 1000x smaller and actually not important. I ended up my long relationship (>10 years) and didn''t suffer as much as after a...See more
This book really helped me to open my eyes one day and everything (read: that jackass who disappeared from my life) what was on my mind became about 1000x smaller and actually not important. I ended up my long relationship (>10 years) and didn''t suffer as much as after a year being with somebody with whom I thought things were just great and I felt so myself for the first time in my life. And so did he, apparently. Until one day out of nowhere he decided this is not his place to be here, he needed more space and moved out in 10min. In COVID full lockdown, stage 4. Yes that much of respect I had from him. And the Foxy-me would have closed that chapter of my life, turned around and started my real life. But somehow I was brainwashed I can''t actually explain it differently. I was devastated, didn''t go to work for weeks, didn''t eat, drank like crazy, smoked like a dragon, cried, had permanent insomnia, lose lost of weight, isolated myself from people, ruined my health, and wait for it.... I still allowed myself to see him, to ''be with him'' whenever he felt like it. We would see each other twice a week, then he would not talk to me for days between that, then we would see each other once a week, and then he was quiet. The silent days became longer and more profound. He would come whenever he wanted sex, sometimes I hated it but still agreed to it. He wasn''t even sure if he loved me, blaming him being ''troubled'' on how horrible he treated me. He made himself a victim in many peoples eyes, he was so troubled so broken yet he couldn''t let me free. He couldn''t do the one thing that he owed me. To tell me: this is over I''m sorry. Instead I heard: till I fix myself I can''t be what you need. etc. My brain was on fire. My heart was broken yet full of false hopes. Yes you could ask: how did you allow this all? I ask myself this exact question today. But I was brainwashed by this narcissistic guy, who looking now from a perspective actually never really treated me right. The red lights were all over even at the beginning of our relationship. And also so was that deep gut feeling saying: you can''t trust him, don''t fell for him, don''t lose yourself in this. He knew I had these worries as I told him and he worked through them to make me his and vulnerable. He cheated on me in the first two months of our relationship with his ex. Apologised said how much he loved me. Then there was more drama on that side. And more. And then the only good thing about everything was probably sex but well now thinking of it it wants even that good, I can find good sex elsewhere right? But while going through break up, there is time for drinking and time for this book. I didn''t have it at the beginning of my agony. So I can''t say if it would work, but I can definitely say that my best friend literally said the same things to me at the beginning what Greg said in this book and although it made sense and made me laugh a little bit, it was not the time for my brain to actually believe it. My brain was in denial, all I was thinking was that he would fix himself and things will be good again. We really live in some weird utopian state when hurt by somebody we loved. And I say it again here: loved. What we loved is gone, even if he/she comes back it is a different person and parallel life, we may not love that person anymore or we may longe for the past which will never come back with him/her or without them. So this book is great, it is witty, funny, I cried from laughter while reading it in two days. And I also felt a bit better about myself that I managed to not go crazy, Yes I let him treat me like dirty, I''m already embarrassed about that but I never went running after him, threatening him, spying, or asking his friends about his life, lurking around his place, telling him I need him to live, even though it felt like this for about 3 months. I wanted to be the better person. The stronger person. The one that values her life. The one that won''t fell as low as to define my self-worth by some guy with no so hard d-^&%. So I suffered in silence with my closest friend and my sister far away from home (continents away) in COVID time. Until I read this book, and while reading it made pauses to think about everything what has happened (the good and the bad) and decided for myself: F that Sh. I don''t deserve it, I''m a good person with so many great values. Yes, I still don''t know what I want in my life but definitely not the last 5 months. I made many new friends literally randomly on the streets and we are still best buddies and growing stronger. I had to I had to break lockdown rules in order to stay sane, I had to reach out like in old days, find people, find my crowd and if I did it in COVId so can anyone. And I avoided Tinder by all means, but I made a few dates and nights with people I knew. First it was bad I couldn''t trust anyone, count open up and even relax. But keep trying and ti will get better. I''m not ready for any relationship atm, what I''m ready for is to establish myself as a independent strong worthy woman and yes (Greg) I did changed my living room totally and yes it helped heaps! It is the oasis of calmness and looks like the Osho''s meditating room/minimalistic freak/plant lover. Read this book with open heart and honesty.
19 people found this helpful
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Miss Debbie Harwood
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
A fantastic book to help deal with the emotions of a breakup
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 4, 2018
I don’t often write reviews, but this book was so good I just had to pass on my thoughts to others. I read this book from cover to cover in one day and I just can’t believe how helpful it was. There was humour thrown in, but mostly I spent the first have of the book...See more
I don’t often write reviews, but this book was so good I just had to pass on my thoughts to others. I read this book from cover to cover in one day and I just can’t believe how helpful it was. There was humour thrown in, but mostly I spent the first have of the book thinking it had been written about me and my break up. I could relate to every story!! The advice given was so helpful (brutal at times) and it a comfort to know that what I was feeling was normal and that so many others had gone through the same emotions as me. Although I read this in one sitting, I often went back to a couple of specific chapters time after time when I needed to remind myself of things. I can’t rate this book highly enough and I think after my friends, this book was what helped me through and allowed me to be in the happy place that I am in 6 months after my breakup
8 people found this helpful
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Danielle
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
AMAZING
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 24, 2019
Saved me this book - would recommend to any girl or boy going through a break up! Ive bought this 3 times for my friends and every single one said its their savior! p.s - If your struggling through a breakup YOU WILL BE FINE your not the only one - memories fade!
9 people found this helpful
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Mia S.
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
I recommend this to everyone even remotely struggling with a breakup
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 12, 2015
I really needed this. Tells you everything you need to hear and covers all aspects/feelings you experience post breakup. It''s written as if you are being told by a funny but incredibly honest friend. Breakups can be lonely times and reading a chapter every night was like...See more
I really needed this. Tells you everything you need to hear and covers all aspects/feelings you experience post breakup. It''s written as if you are being told by a funny but incredibly honest friend. Breakups can be lonely times and reading a chapter every night was like speaking to a friend, so it''s good if you (like me) weren''t ready to speak about it to friends, or perhaps your friends don''t give good advice/don''t exist. It helped me so much, and I feel that it has sped up the healing process. It literally tells you what to do, gives example, tell you how to implement the advice into your life and has funny ''crazy ex'' stories to make you laugh and feel better about yourself. I cannot recommend this book enough, and whenever I feel low I re-read certain chapters. I will honestly pass this down to my children, it''s great. Arrived on estimated date and looked like new (no tear-stained pages)! Only issue with the book (for some) is that it is very much orientated towards being a girl who has been dumped, so maybe some guys will feel alienated but I''m sure you can get used to it.
12 people found this helpful
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k4t311c
4.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
There are some really good tips, told in a no-nonsense way
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 8, 2017
really found this book helpful, as it covered quite a range of different topics. It is written by a married couple, and covers their experiences of past relationships that have lead them to write this book together. There are some really good tips, told in a no-nonsense...See more
really found this book helpful, as it covered quite a range of different topics. It is written by a married couple, and covers their experiences of past relationships that have lead them to write this book together. There are some really good tips, told in a no-nonsense way. Reading this book however, is like being given the firm advice from friends that you just don''t want to hear. Hence, this book took me a whole month to read, as I''d get to a chapter and think: "I don''t want to hear this!" However, if that''s the approach you need, then get this book. I''ll keep this and keep referring back to it as and when I need to, and it might just help you too!
2 people found this helpful
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Description

Product Description

A must-have manual for finding your way back to an even more rocking you. Greg and his wife, Amiira, share their hilarious and helpful roadmap for getting past the heartache and back into the game. 

From Greg Behrendt, the co-author of the smash two-million copy bestseller He’s Just Not That Into You, comes It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken.


There’s no doubt about it—breakups suck. But in the first few hours or days or weeks that follow, there’s one important truth you need to recognize: Some things can’t and shouldn’t be fixed, especially that loser who dumped you or forced you to dump him. Starting right here, right now, it’s time to dry your tears, and open this book to Chapter One–and start turning your breakup into a breakover.

The ultimate survival guide to getting over Mr. Wrong and reclaiming your inner Superfox. From how to put yourself through “he-tox,” to how to throw yourself a kick-ass pity party, and reframing reality— seeing the relationship for what it was. Complete with an essential workbook to help you put your emotions down on paper and heal.

Review

“You will get through this, and you’ll do it faster with the help of It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken.” — Glamour

“Insightful, been-there-have-the-scars-to-prove-it wisdom.” — New York Post

From the Back Cover

When Greg Behrendt-comedian and consultant to "Sex and the City-laid out the truth about men''s "mixed signals" (the truth being that there''s no such thing), millions of women found themselves liberated. But knowing a guy''s not that into her doesn''t mean a woman is not going to be hurt. Now, for every woman who''s had her heart broken, Greg and his coauthor-wife, Amiira, offer "It''s Called a Breakup Because It''s Broken-a must-have survival guide for getting over Mr. Wrong and reclaiming your inner SuperFox.
This hilarious and helpful book covers everything from how to pull the plug on a relationship and make it stick, to proven remedies for uncontrollable crying, to how to act the first time you see him with another woman. Divided into two parts-Get Over It and Get On with It-chapters include:
- There Are No New Messages, so stop checking your
machine-and his!-every five minutes
- He''s Not Hiding at the Bottom of That Pint of Ice Cream
- What''s He Thinking? Who cares? But Greg and Amiira
respect the need to obsess, so here''s a chapter of indulgence
- If It Was So Great, You''d Still Be Together: seeing the
reality for what it was
- Revenge Is a Dish Best Served HOT! So get out of your pajamas,
start taking care of yourself, and find your way back to an even
more rocking you
Plus: an essential workbook, so you can put the crazy stuff down
on paper instead of inflicting it on the world.
Before finding each other, Greg and Amiira had been there, too, and found their way out of the darkness. Now they''ve come back with a flashlight and a helping hand. "It''s Called a Breakup Because It''s Broken is more than the ultimatereference guide to the dissolution of a relationship. It''s the voice of encouragement that you need to turn your breakup into a break-over, and get a jump on the brighter romantic future that awaits.

About the Author

Comedian Greg Behrendt is the coauthor of the two-million-copy bestseller He’s Just Not That Into You. His acclaimed stand-up comedy has been seen on HBO, Comedy Central Presents . . . , The Tonight Showwith Jay Leno, Late Show with David Letterman, and Late Night with Conan O’Brien. A former consultant on Sex and the City, he lives with his wife, Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt, in Los Angeles with their two children.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Chapter One

IT’S CALLED A BREAKUP BECAUSE IT’S BROKEN

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAHHHHHHH! F***, it hurts. It’s rocking the very core of your being. You never saw it com­ing. You knew this was going to happen. You were going to do it first. You only broke it off with him before he broke it off with you. You guys were supposed to be together forever. You never liked him that much anyway. He was such a great kisser. The sex wasn’t that great. You really liked his family. He hated your friends. You hated his shoes. You miss him soooooo much. There’s no doubt about it–breakups suck. And now here you are holding this stupid “Breakup Book” because, quite honestly, you’d do anything not to feel like this and maybe this book will shed some light on what you’re going through. Maybe you’ll get some sleep tonight. Or stop sleeping all the time.

In these first few hours or days or weeks of your breakup, there’s one all-important truth that you need to recognize: Some things can’t and shouldn’ t be fixed, especially that loser who dumped you or forced you to dump him. It’s over for a reason, and even if you’re in denial about it, deep down inside you prob­ably know what that reason is. Even if you feel baffled by his decision to end it, it boils down to the same thing every time: Your relationship, despite its promise, has ceased to be right for one or both of you. It is, in effect, broken. That doesn’t make the breakup any easier to handle or change the overwhelming nature of the sadness that you feel. But that sadness, in turn, doesn’t make it less broken. If you’ve reached this point, where one or both of you feel that walking away is the best course of action, the cracks are there. And starting today, you’re not the kind of woman who settles for broken or hangs on to damaged goods, be it a radio, a pair of shoes, or a relationship. Your life is not a yard sale. It’s time to get rid of all the broken stuff that you’ve been lugging around for days, months, and maybe even years, and make the bold decision to start looking for stuff that works. The bright, clean, simple, easy, runs-so-smoothly-I-don’t-even-have-to-think-about-it kind of works. Being the first one to recognize that a relationship isn’t a match doesn’t win you any great prize—just the guilt of having to hurt someone’s feelings. So even though you are clearly wounded, getting out of this bro­ken relationship is the best thing possible, even if you didn’t know it was broken until now.

“But some things can be fixed,”you say. True, but can your rela­tionship be fixed? Anything is possible, but we’d say probably not. Generally, if one person thinks that the breakup is the right move, they’re probably right even if it feels so wrong. Because unless there are two people putting on the coveralls and getting down in the trenches with some duct tape and superglue and a fierce determination, it isn’t going to happen. Need more convincing? How about this: The person you loved took a good long look at the awesomeness that is you, evaluated your relationship together, and said, “No, thanks. I’ll try my luck elsewhere.” Or you said it to him. Either way, that alone should make you realize that it wasn’t a match made in heaven and they’re not worth donning coveralls for. Anyone who assesses you or your relationship as disposable is not worthy of your time or tears.

Right now, your mind is probably working overtime to come up with all the reasons that you should still be together. Your heart is hurting and your mind wants to find a way to undo the pain. Just remember, though, that any reasons you come up with are ultimately irrelevant. The harsh reality is that even if you have everything else in common, the one thing you don’t have in common is the belief that this relationship can work. That, my friend, trumps your shared love of puppies, The Dave Matthews Band, and Mexican food.

It’s hard not to rack your brain, searching for reasons why the two of you couldn’t make it work, but sometimes the only real answer is the simplest one: People come together and move apart. It’s the age-old ebb and flow of relationships. Some are shorter journeys, and others were meant for a lifetime. That goes for friendships as well. We become attached to what’s familiar and sometimes we hold on to things that are safe and predictable even if they’re bad for us. A lot of the pain you are experiencing right now is actually fear. Fear of things being different than how you liked them, fear of never finding another love, fear of being alone, fear of having to fill your time differently. We’re afraid of the unknown. The answer to all the questions swirling in your head—What will I do on weekends? Will I meet someone else?—is “You won’t know until you get there.” That’s hard, and it’s scary. But for the moment, you need to concentrate on what you do know—that you and he no longer share the belief that your rela­tionship has a future. It’s broken, and the longer you stay stuck in a dead-end relationship or spend your days mourning one, the less time you get on this planet to experience a great one.

So take a deep breath, steel yourself, and realize that this is going to hurt for a while. There is no quick remedy for the pow­erful sting of heartbreak, though we’re going to try to make it easier for you throughout the book. You’re going to feel like crap head to toe and run the gamut of emotions. Edgy, moody, angry, depressed, nauseated—you name it. In fact, the amount of time it takes for you to start feeling great about yourself again is directly proportional to how much it sucks right now—especially if you weren’t the one who broke it off. Because at the end of the day, someone you loved, trusted, and valued has rejected you, and that really smarts. It’s hard to not take it personally. But—and here’s the important part—the fact of the matter is, they’re wrong about you. Just because your relationship is broken doesn’t mean you are! No matter what happened between you, no mat­ter what you may or may not have done wrong, you are still a kick-ass person. And even though you might not believe it right now, this breakup is the fi rst step toward finding someone truly worthy of your greatness.

But Greg, I’ve Got Questions

But how can a relationship just break with no warning?

Dear Greg,

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and have always had the perfect relationship. We moved in together last year and he started talking about getting mar­ried, having kids, the whole deal. He even took me to look at engagement rings a few weeks before Christmas, so naturally I assumed what would be under the Christmas tree for me. Since I thought I was getting an engagement ring, I maxed out my credit card to buy him a plasma TV for Christmas. Well, Christmas morning comes and he was shocked when he opened the plasma TV. But that was nothing compared to the shock when I opened his gift—a cashmere sweater and a necklace! What? Then, the next day, he tells me he’s not sure “I’m the one” and he thinks I should move out and we should take a break so he can figure some things out!! Now he’s got the apartment and the plasma TV that I’ll be paying off for the rest of my life. I’ve tried to remind him of how good we were together and that getting married was his idea, but he just keeps apologizing and telling me he needs time apart. How can somebody go from wanting to marry you to not even wanting to talk to you for no reason? What can I do to make him realize that we should be together?

Please write back.

Marla


Dear Plasma Giver,

First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you’re married. (My grandmother used to say that.) A lot of men think once they have a plasma TV they don’t need a girlfriend. Sounds like your boy-friend’s one of them. The truth is that if he’ s going to come to the conclusion that you guys should be together, he’s going do it on his own. There’s nothing you can do to make him want to be with you, and more important, want to marry you. One of the suckiest and most frustrating facts of life is that sometimes rela­tionships just end, often without reason. I truly believe that some­times both men and women simply run out of love, even when there was a lot of it in the beginning. What blows even more is that you were completely blindsided—even though the relationship was bro­ken on his end, he had clearly led you to believe you were in the same place emotionally. What a shitty new reality for you to get your head around now. But the sooner you do, the sooner you can get your head around this great new thought: HEY, SUPERFOX, YOU ARE HEADED SOMEWHERE FABULOUS AND THERE ARE GREAT POSSIBILITIES AHEAD. You should also let him know that the proper etiquette is that if a girl breaks off an engagement she should give back the ring. If a man breaks up with you, he should give back the TV.

But why didn’t he just break up with me instead of making me do it?

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